The American Flag

So, the wife and I were watching 'Are you smarter than a 5th grader' tonight. There was a question about how many stripes there are on the American flag. Easy. 13. However, it got me thinking...the colors on the flag are Red, White, and Blue. That's amazingly similar to some country that we took our independence from. Yes, England. And, actually, it's not just similar, it's the exact same. So, that got me to thinking...did they do that just to spite the queen? Like, 'F You! No only are we defecting, we're stealing your flag colors!' That's possible. The other possibility is that those were the only colors that existed 200+ years ago. Which makes sense. And explains Kentucky Bluegrass.

American Idol Flunkie: Julie Dubela

This chick flunks out on Idol and a few hours later, she is one of the top searched phrases on Google. What a loser. No only did she blow her chance, but now, all of america is searching for her to see how stupid she looked. I love the interweb.

Barack Obama Is Shady

Am I the only one that thinks this Barack Obama fella is shady? He's got that "I'm going to con you out of everything you own and make you think I'm doing you a favor" look to him. At least that's my opinion. Then this shows up.

OK, so just because Obama knew him doesn't necessarily mean he knew everything the guy was up to. But let's just loo at this... I find a few things interesting here...

This guy has been a long time fund-raiser for Gov. Blagojevich, who is just as shady as Obama. Obama was happy to accept cash from this guy, and LOTS of it. All of the sudden, he doesn't know the guy and is giving away the money. I worked in a political environment for long enough to know that when you give a candidate over $100,000, you know them pretty damn well. And, this guy apparently was involved somehow in Obama purchasing a house for $300,000 UNDER market value. Lucky coincidence, right? Sounds like a shady way to scratch someone's back to me.

So, vote for who you wish, but just realize that when someone is as slick and polished as Obama is, it's probably because they've got years of practice bullshitting and scamming people...

I always have good ideas for a blog entry...

I always have good ideas for a blog entry. Then I forget it. I swear. I just always think of these things at the wrong times. Sometimes I actually send myself an e-mail to remind myself, but today, I know I had 2 or 3 good ideas and have just completely forgotten them. That's why my blog is boring. Promise.

I want to make out with HTML 5

I can't wait till this is finalized and some browsers actually implement it. It'll be forever before IE implements it, but regardless, I'll be happy when it's a reality. Check out how cool HTML 5 is going to be, versus 4. Yes, I'm a huge dork because I'm this excited about it.

And how cool is it that frames are officially going away? That's awesome. And how cool is it that there will be a 'draggable' attribute. No more goofey javascript just to drag something. I love it. I love the idea of simple API's in HTML itself.

Angels & Airwaves

Am I the only one that has recently become entranced with Angels and Airwaves? I've had one of the albums for a while, but never really got that into it. When we moved into the office, I would hear it on a regular basis and am now completely in love with them. It's odd though, because I usually like things a bit punkier, heavier. Something about the mix of real music and synthesized instruments is interesting though. Not that it's not been done before, but it's as if there's some real depth to it and thought to it. It's almost as good as J-Lo. Or P-Diddy.

Why I hate [fill in the blank] frameworks

So, over the last few years, these little web frameworks have become very popular. You name it, there's a framework for it. PHP, JavaScript, .NET, etc. But, don't they speed up development? Yeah, sure. Whatever. Regardless, they also breed script kiddies that do not really know what they are doing.

Don't get me wrong - I use some of these frameworks. And I like them. They save me time and headaches. Lots. But, I also understand the code underneath them and could write ALL of my projects without them, if I had to. 

So many people are quick to plug in an AJAX framework, then, as soon as something needs to be customized or doesn't work right, they're posting comments in the forums like:

'I dwnld this. It dont wrk. Plz hlp'

Yeah, they're the same kids that can't use full words because it's too hard to comprehend that many letters. I get so frustrated when I see these comments, because they obviously don't understand how the framework works, yet they're trying to build projects off it. And the sad thing is, some of them are actually able to somehow create something new that kind of works. And then, they put it all over their resume that they know JavaScript, PHP, etc. When you talk to them, you honestly feel like crying because it's such a waste of your time.

So that's why I hate web frameworks. If you don't get how it works 'under the hood', don't use it. Please.

Microsoft's Marketing Department is Retarded

What is wrong with these morons at Microsoft? I seriously think they have some 3yr olds running the marketing department there. Take a look at this article that talks about Windows 7 being released next year. How did this conversation in the marketing department go?

Marketing Manager: The Windows development team tells me that the next big Windows OS release should be ready sometime in 2009. Let's brainstorm on how to handle this.

Marketing Dweeb 1: Let's start the hype now.

Marketing Dweeb 2: Yeah, let's make a YouTube video.

Marketing Manager: Uh...Google owns YouTube. Ever heard of them? Bad idea.

Marketing Dweeb 3: Let's talk to some online mags and see if we can generate a buzz about it.

Marketing Manager: Great idea!

Marketing Dweeb 4: You know, with how late Vista was, maybe we should wait until we see something for real. Then, you know, shock the market with how hip and cool Microsoft is. And let them know that we can still get new software out in less than 7 years.

Marketing Manager: Why would we do that? Vista wasn't our fault. Apple stole the code, f'd it up overnight and then put it back. Not our fault, dude. Plus, we have the code secured on Windows 2008 server now. It's secure. Anyone (else) have any ideas? What should we name it?

Marketing Dweeb 2: I think 'Windows 7' would be cool.

Marketing Manager: I love it! To the online mags to brag about Windows 7!!!

OK, so there's a few issues here. Supposedly, a build will be out in 2008. We all know the first build will blow chunks, right? Right. So, then they think they can fix things, finish features, and still put out a few more builds, a beta, and 2 release candidates, AND a final in 2009? That's insane. They're just asking to fail, just like Vista. But, in the meantime, here's what they've accomplished...

Somewhere at a corporate IT shop...

IT Manager: Guys, Windows Vista is ready for prime time. Let's plan a roll-out on the network.

Over-zealous network dude: Um...Boss, I just saw that Windows 7 will be out in 2009. XP is working pretty well for us. Vista is going to require new PCs for everyone. Maybe we should just wait till '09 and just go with Windows 7.

IT Manager: Really? That's great news. I hadn't heard that. That's perfect though, because that gives us 2 years to invest in new machines, rather than having to do it all now, or have users complain about poor performance on Vista. Wait it is.

OK, so corporate account shot. Why not just put out a press release that says 'Vista blows. We're working on Windows 7. Just wait for it. Don't upgrade yet'.

And, on top of that, who names something Windows 7. When you're losing ground to an OS known as OS X (10), why would you name it 7? Go on the street and ask people, 'Which version of software is better? 7 or 10?' I'll give you $50,000 if people say 7. Everyone knows that as version numbers go up, features and stability get better.

Microsoft is stupid.

Arnold is a dinkalfoo

Help me achieve something cool. Anywhere you can, post a link to this blog entry with the text "Arnold is a dinkalfoo". I want to see how long it takes before google starts showing something other than this entry.

And yes, I need better things to do with my time. Now that we have that out of the way, just link to me! Please!!!!

Feel free to google the phrase on your own to check status. It'll be fun.

While I have your attention...

Check out my short stories on koenigland.com. There's even one that's good. You'll have to read all of them to figure out which one though.

New Business Venture

Dude, I am like, so totally good at posting blogs that I think I am going to be a professional blogger. If you, like, you know, want someone to write your blog for you, I'll like, do it. For a fee. A big fee. Cause I'm good. I'm really good. Check out my PHP AJAX file upload blog. It's like, totally, almost useful. If I was getting paid for it, just think how cool it would be. For real. Dude.

Preggies / New Moms

So, why new pregnant women and new moms have so much time on their hands? There's this whole set of women that do nothing but post on babycenter.com ALL FRIGGIN' DAY LONG!! Some of them even have jobs (and british accents). And yes, I know british should technically be capitalized, but, um..they don't deserve it. Until they start measuring things in inches, feet, miles, etc., they don't get a capital 'b'. But, I digress. My point is, many of these women have newborns. Yet, they spend on day on the internet. It blows my mind.

Oh yeah, my wife is one of them. I'm fairly sure her laptop is permanently affixed to her body now. We even had to take the thing to hospital so she wouldn't miss a think. I'm not even kidding, it went into the operating room with her for her c-section. I was like, 'hun...leave the laptop in the room...'. She said, 'Look, if I'm going to be awake for this, I'm going to be posting to tribe while I do it'. At that point, I gave up. So, as I sit her writing this pathetic blog, she sits upstairs talking with her new-found internet friends. The whole thing is a little creepy if you ask me.

don't just stop here...

If you girls are looking for a way to waste time, go post stuff on mynewpuppy.com. Just, at least make it kind of dog-related. Or post whatever you want to in the forums over there. You do have to register, though. And don't try to edit any photos you upload to a blog yet. It only half-way works...

I see the girls found me

I see the girls from my wife's little "I'm-going-to-have-a-baby" club have found me. I welcome the comments, no matter how retarded. They will help to make me rich. Don't ask how. It's a secret. And if I figure it out, I'll let you know. Until then, bring on the comments...

plaxico burress

So, one of the hot searches for the day is 'plaxico burress'. I'm gathering something excited happened involving him in a football game lately. Not a huge football fan here, so I really couldn't care. I am a huge baseball fan though. And it looks like the Cardinals are on track to royally suck this year. Why Tony LaRussa is back is completely baffling me. The guy is a total disaster, but that's a whole other blog...

Google Trends Experiment

So, I'm not sure that my Trends experiment is quite working out like I hoped it would. However, what I am noticing is that Google seems to certainly be picking up all of my blog postings, and really seems to be liking the fact that I'm posting daily. I'm also noticing that Google is certainly following links I'm putting in the blog. I've had a few hits on pages on my Koenigland site that I've never posted links to anywhere else. In fact, one of them is even on page two of Google now for the term 'lawn striping'. Crazy stuff.

Ron Pratte

So, Ron Pratte is apparently famous on Google right now, too. I'm assuming that this one is a bunch of people trying to figure out who the hell this guy is and how he has $605,000 to purchase an old mustang. Granted, the old shelby's are nice, but, come on...that's a bit pricey for a glorified ford taurus...

Runaway Jury

So, in a continuation of my Google Trends experiment, I'm noticing that Runaway Jury is a hot search topic right now. I think it's people trying to figure out what a movie is about that's on TV. Check out this article for more.

Cutco Cultery

How is this #17 on Google Trends???? I guess it's this story,  but why are so many people searching for that?!?!?!

I really must say, Google is amazing. The ability to pick up those things SO fast and find new links SO fast is unbelievable. I'm glad I don't have to use webcrawler anymore, like back in the mid 90's...

Give me liberty or give me death

Wow. Too many people watch 'Are you smarter than a 5th grader?' and look up answers on google. I saw 5 minutes of it while trying to get my son in bed. I came down here to check google trends to see what's hot today (see previous post about my experiment) and found numerous questions that were in the five minutes. For example, 'Give me liberty or give me death'.  And 'cartographers'. It's insane. Crazy to watch how google gives you an insight into the TV watching patterns of americans.

Morgellons

What is Morgellons? Check here for more info. Apparently it's a disease the CDC is very interested in. Odd.

Half man, Half Tree

What? Why is the world searching for Half Man, Half Tree. That's what google says. Google trends claims it is one of the most popular searches right now. This appears to be the article of interest, or at least one of them.

My Google Trends Experiment

So, what would happen if I regularly blog about interesting things that show up in Google Trends? Like, every day? We all know that Google bases search rankings heavily on pages linking to you, but is it smart enough to see search trends and actually alter it's algorithm based on that? Can it see that something that is getting searched on a ton is a newer term and may not have a lot of links generated yet? Probably not. But I'll begin my google trends experiment anyway. I doubt I'll make it past a day or two. Just don't have the time....

Sun Buys MySQL

Sun Buys MySQL

OK, seriously, did anyone see this coming? I would not, in 100 years, have guessed this was going to happen. I haven't 100% made up my mind about whether or not I like it, but it really seems like it could be good. Sun has been a HUGE open source proponent for years, and MySQL has kind of gone down the greed path the last few years, so it may help from that standpoint. However, as a businessman, I know well that you can't just give things away all day. I just hope that Sun doesn't push Java everywhere through MySQL and bloat it and slow it down. MySQL seems to have some cool things coming - especially some of the MySQL Proxy things they've been working on. Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out...

I am a bad father

I was talking with Jen last night and made a comment about someone must be 'on crack'. Tim, my 3yr old, immediately caught on and said 'You're on crack'. Then, he just kept saying it. Jen and I were trying not to laugh hysterically, because we really didn't want him repeating it in public. So, after telling us a few times that we're on crack, he looked at me and said 'Daddy in trouble'. Yep...smart kid...

Search Engine Optimization For a New Web Site

So, if you read on google's webmaster blog, they state that purchasing links to your site (or selling links, for that matter) is against their guidelines. They also say that inbound links to your site are one of the largest factors in where you rank in their listings.

This is the real problem that causes so many web site owners real grief. So, you put up this fancy new web site, but no one knows about it. No one visits because they can't find you. They can't find you because no one has a link to you. No one links to you because they don't know you exist. See where this is going?

Don't get me wrong, having a site's page rank highly rely on inbound links makes sense. It's a popularity contest. But, you see, it also just breeds more and more links for the top ranked sites. So, there is an inherent problem. What's the solution? No clue. What should you do about it? Beg and plead with people to link to you. Avoid sites that are just gigantic link farms that will put a link up to any page, especially for a fee. Sooner or later Google will blacklist them, and having a link to you could hurt.

A great way to build inbound links is by finding mailing lists that are based on a topic similar to your web site. Make sure your e-mails all include a signature at the bottom that contains a link to your site. What does a mailing list have to do with links? Well, virtually every mailing list is archived somewhere. Since there is always new content, Google, and other search engines, index these archives. A lot. So, when your message gets archived, bam, you just landed a link to your site. Do that enough, in enough places, and you'll have LOTS of links to your site in no time. And guess what? You might even help someone else out in the process.

Well....that's Joe's tip of day. Come back tomorrow when we'll talk about my tips for delicious Potato soup.

My Blog is lonely

Someday, I swear, someone is going to see my blog and read it. And then I'll be cool. Maybe someone will leave a comment. My first comment. That would be so great.

Seriously, if you read this, leave a comment. My blog is lonely.